Swing Low, Sweet Chariot

I feel heavy today.  My heart is heavy.  My thoughts are heavy.  My breathe is heavy.

There is a pull inside me.  The problem is I can't tell in what direction I am being pulled.  My heart yearns.  It yearns for worth.  The worth that comes from helping others.  The worth that comes from knowing this world is so much bigger than you and me.  That we're apart of something grander.  I long connection.  The connection that I make a difference in people's lives; and no one else is the wiser.  Acknowlegment is not the prize I seek.  I want impact.  Impact as soft as a hug, yet warm and bright like the sun.  Perhaps blinding at first, followed by slow gradual adjustment, then warm peace and acceptance.  Enlightment.  Passion.  Contentment.  But most importantly Desire.  Desire for those I impact to pay it forward in their own unique way.

Way.  Path.  Direction.  Journey.  Trip.  Road.  Ro-add(Tommy Boy reference here). 

Why does my path seem so hidden?  Why isn't there a rest stop where I can pause and ask for directions?  Oh wait, there is and the attendant's name is God.  "Lord, please show me the way!  I swear I'm a great tipper"! 

One of my favorite Bible verses, Jeremiah 29:11-"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Only why am I so deaf to his instruction?  Perhaps my lack of skill in being still is the problem.

Being still is hard.  Have you tried it?  My mind is one continuous tangent.  I know it'll become easier, as does anything else with practice.  Perhaps with stillness will also come patience.  Lord knows I need some of that too.  Work in progress, ya'll.  May you be working on your progression as well.  Namaste.

Random fact of the day, Wallis Willis, the writer of the song Swing Low, Sweet Chariot was from Oklahoma.  Just like me.